I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
How does one acquire holy water?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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