I just cut my nipple shaving
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
be right there i have to get my cape
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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