I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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