I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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