well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Randomize
