I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
