I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
