i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
