i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
