he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
