Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize
