Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
