we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
