he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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