just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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