theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
