Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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