I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
