And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
