Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
