The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
