Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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