So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
