hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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