Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
