today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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