I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Enjoy the penises
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
