The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
