Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
So much rum. So many feels.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
