She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
