whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Randomize
