Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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