did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
