were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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