this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
