I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
