i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
2020 sucks, I want a refund
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
