This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
