im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
