the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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