I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
