He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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