I am in a vortex of obligation.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
