i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I am naked and annoyed.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
