omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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