I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
