Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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