I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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