oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
