My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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