Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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