you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
